You Can't Make This Up

An anonymous friend's story of last night, told in the 3rd person:

She went home with a guy very late and very drunk. She had hooked up with guy before and knew him prior to last night. They got back to bed, and she refused to sleep to him because she was too tired and too drunk, despite his pleas to do pretty kinky things (video tape themselves and go into the shower and shave each other for example). Since this was following a formal, she was still in her dress and fell asleep on his bed it.

When he asked if she was going to vomit, she replied, "No, I'm not going to ruin your sheets."

She then had her period and ruined his sheets. She apologized, went to the bathroom to deal with it, and when she had returned, he had already made the bed with new sheets. They then both passed out again.

Early in the morning, the guy's phone rings 5+ times in a row, and shortly after someone is knocking on his door with gusto. Guy jumps out of bed, writes on a post-it and hands it to girl. It reads: "Can you hide? Please Please Please?". She hid, guy left, and she falls back asleep on his bed.

Eventually girl wakes up and leaves to find another post-it on the outside of guy's door saying "[guy] is not feeling well and is sleeping, please leave him alone." Girl runs into guy's suite-mates while leaving and they ask if the guy is alright and if he's still sleeping (she hasn't seen him since he left earlier). She says he is, and leaves. Later, guy sends girl a text saying he'll explain it later.

It's quite an odd series of events, although hilarious. Sorry for the excessive use of pronouns, but since there is only 1 guy and 1 girl in the story, I hope it's not too hard to follow.